You may have heard the following line, “Do you know all the trails in Stanmer?”

This used to be dangerous as well as foolish. It is still dangerous in places. It is always foolish.

You may have heard the line, ” did you enjoy the ride; well, I ask new riders if they could write a short ride report. You do not have to state where we rode, and in fact, I prefer if you do not include this instead just give a flavour of the ride in order that others can get an idea of what it is like to ride with Brighton mtb.”

I usually add something along the lines of how many visitors read the website and how many individual people will click the more  button. Sometimes I appeal to your vanity and highlight the number of site visitors, maybe you have a small, easily impressed youngling ( “my daddy writes things on the computer that the whole world reads”), perhaps competitive (more than a few) and I casually reveal that new posts garner over one hundred individual reads. That would be more than most dissertations, business plans, safety manuals or any of my own workshop manuals (even to bloody Californians who cannot turn the damn machine on!)

(There is a switch)

(it says ON)

It is like a famous lightbulb. How many Psychologists to change a light bulb?



The bulb must be willing to accept change.

How many Californians?


One to change the bulb.

The other to appreciate the change.

So, no appreciation.


Anyway. Some new riders have joined us for a ride and we have tried to make you feel welcome and want to return. Some of you need to send the ride report. Everybody writes a ride report as a rite of passage and in order that your name is on the list. Otherwise it is on the other list. Bad list.

So some sample numbers for the last year as an example. This does not include external stuff just website visitors who actually clicked to read your words so no netbots, crawlers botnets, robots, surfers or road cyclists.

Almost freeride – 545

Scandal review – 541

trail etiquette – 466

Jones Ti – 183

Tyred Rob – 140

and even Tom G’s recent post of him almost trouncing the elderly Steve Peat, 91 and climbing.

So if you want to see your name it the aether for evermore then you can send the ride report, review your own bike, share your fitness thoughts, argue the benefits of Stanmer, recommend your new FiveTen elements VXi super clean shoes, explain why trying the Monday Freeride has made you a better rider, explain why Monday Freeride has made you a better teacher, encourage more riders to try a Tuesday ride, explain why your work schedule does not run late on Thursday, send a photo of your new trail fixing tool, offer your tips for better riding, describe the Lifecycle 9500HR portability, or much, much better something of your own.

I am off to prove the case that orange bikes are best in Stanmer but you may have heard this line before.


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